The Month in Review
Well, it's been a month. A whole month of blogging. Who knew that I had so much to say! When I started, I didn't even think that people would be interested in my random musings--but a month later, I've developed a loyal following.

It's been stressful, but also fun. It's been challenging, but also fulfilling. It's been nerve-wracking, but also liberating. In short, I'm having the time of my life. I wish I had discovered blogging years ago.

The most challenging part of it, by far, has been coming up with new topics daily. I've tried not to pigeon hole myself--my blog is not just for women, not just for Black folks, not just for parents, even though I'm all of those things. I've tried to present different aspects of myself, and hope that I've done a good job in this.

Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for all the words of praise. I appreciate it!

Your comments--priceless!!
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Souper Bowl of Caring

This is one of my favorite charities. I found out about it a few years ago when the youth from the High School Ministry at my Church stood outside the sanctuary on Super Bowl Sunday, holding soup pots, collecting money. They were collecting money to fight hunger and poverty in my local area.

When I got home, I read more about this organization and I must say, I was very impressed. It is Christian based and uses all of the Super Bowl hoopla to their advantage. Even more impressive, is the fact that 100% of donations go towards the fight, none is used for administrative costs. They are able to do this, partly because 10 NFL owners have made significant financial contributions. The teams whose owners are involved are--Arizona Cardinals, Miami Dolphins, Indianapolis Colts, New York Jets, Dallas Cowboys, New York Giants, Houston Texans, Carolina Panthers, Jacksonville Jaguars. They also have corporate and community partners.

Their vision is to become the largest youth-led weekend of giving and serving. Right now, the efforts are heavily concentrated on the East Coast, but there are significant gains in other parts of the country. The youth group decides what charity they want to contribute to before they even start.

This is truly something that I can get behind. If you see kids around this weekend, collecting in huge soup pots, dig deep for something to give them. I know times are hard, but how much harder would it be if you didn't have food? Also, if you are involved with a youth group, I would highly recommend considering it as a group activity for next year. Again, I was very impressed and I'm not easily impressed.

What do you think about this? Is it something you could see the teens in your life doing? Why? Why not?

Your comments--priceless!!


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Dear Hot Rod, You Ain't Hardly Ghandi!

Did you all see "Hot" Rod Blagojevich likening himself to Ghandi, Martin Luther King, and Nelson Mandela? Is he serious?

Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." What part of selling a Senate seat is being change??? Seriously, Dude? Seriously?

He's done nearly 20 interviews with the media in the last couple days, rather than attending his own impeachment hearing. He's pleading his case to whoever will hear it. He claims this is all a big misunderstanding. He is the epitome of "not being accountable." But he's not alone. There seems to be an epidemic of elected officials falling off of the morality wagon.

Who is responsible for this? Is it the American people? Are we responsible for this? Have we escalated our lawmakers to celebrity rock star status? So much so that they feel that they are above the law?

Is it their peers? Certainly they know what their colleagues are up to, right? Are they their brother's keeper? Do they have an obligation to police themselves?

Is it the demise of the family structure? Is this what happens when we stop eating dinner together daily? What IS this about? I'm way confused--except I do know this--Hot Rod is NOT Ghandi!!

Your comments--priceless!!
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Purely Platonic

A month ago, when this blog was in the planning stage, I needed help. I knew that I wanted to write a blog. I knew what I wanted to say. I was committed to daily writing. I just didn't know "how to blog." How did i set it up? Would it cost me money? Did I need hosting and all? Etc. Etc.

What did I do? I called my trusted FOJ, Marc, who I knew had a blog years ago. I've known Marc nearly 20 years. We've seen each other grow and change. But we've never been on a date. We've never done anything even remotely romantic. And there's nothing wrong with him, he's cute, he's smart, works hard, etc.

That started me thinking--I have MANY guy friends that I have that platonic thing with--Marc, Drake, Mooney, Kelly,et al. We hang out. We have deep, meaningful conversations. We know wayyy too much about each other's personal business. Yet, I still hear, often, that men and women can NOT be just friends. Am I an anomaly?

And another thing--IF I am an anomaly, then clearly my husband is as well. He has many friends of the opposite sex as well. In fact, many of them call him with their issues and problems, and he helps them figure it out. I don't mind at all. He is very good at solving things.

To me, a friend is a friend, no matter what gender, race, religious affiliation, or sexual orientation. True friendship is such a gem to find, why limit it to only folks of the same sex? Guy friends have given me different perspectives on things. Nobody better to help you interpret the actions of a guy than a guy, right?

There are those that say that there's always one person in the platonic relationship that really wants to be more than friends. Somehow I don't think so. I don't think any of my guy friends are hiding secret desires for me. Maybe my glasses are too rosy, but I just don't see it.

So..AM I an anomaly? Can men and women be "just friends?" Am I fooling myself? Do you have any friends of the opposite sex? Are you secretly harboring romantic feelings towards them? Please share.

Your comments, priceless!
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Tuesday Tips: Keeping an Attitude of Gratitude

1. Keep a Gratitude Journal. Write daily about what you are grateful for. Try not to write the same thing everyday, explore your gratefulness.

2. Remember the bad--the contrast may encourage gratefulness.

3. Ask yourself 3 questions. Choose a person that you know. Consider what you have received from them, what you've given them, and what trouble you may have caused them. This may lead to discovering that you owe others more than you thought.

4. Pray. A ritualized form of giving thanks may help increase gratitude.

5. Use your senses. 80% of people say that they are thankful for their health. If you are in that number, then use your five senses to see, hear, smell, taste, and touch the world.

6. Use visual aids. You may need a note to yourself to remind you to be thankful.

7. Swear an oath to be more grateful. Promise on whatever you hold holy that you'll be more grateful.

8. Think grateful thoughts.

9. Acting grateful is being grateful.

10. Be grateful to your enemies. It's a huge step to be thankful to those that you most despise. But this is just the kind of thing to set off a change in yourself.
--as adapted from PsyBlog

Your comments--priceless!
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Blogging at Barnes & Noble

On Friday night, I went over to Circuit City's pseudo sale, and got a great deal on a new laptop. So, yesterday, I decide to hit up my local wifi spot, and blog. This would be my first time blogging away from home.

I read that I could connect to all AT&T hotspots because I have AT&T DSL at home. So I hit up Barnes & Noble's cafe. Well, after about 15 minutes, I gave up on that. It wouldn't accept my login and password. Ok fine!

Those that know me, know that I always have a backup. So I went to Plan B and connected using my trusty friend, Blackberry. My Blackberry Bold can serve as a modem, and be used as the phone at the same time. How cool is that?

Anyway, I didn't like the blogging in public. There was too much commotion going on. The noise from the espresso machines, folks chattering, babies crying. I sit beside a huge wall of windows that looked out onto the parking lot, and even that was distracting. I saw some woman take off her shirt and put on another one in full view of everyone. It was not pretty. My creative juices were stifled. Besides that, their was nothing on the menu that interested me. And for there to be NOTHING on a food menu of interest to me is really saying something.

Nevertheless, there were many folks there studying, and looking very busy on their laptops. Did they just tune the noise out? Did they start off like me and then get used to it? How are they able to concentrate with strangers walking to and fro? I guess it's meant for me to blog from the comfort of my own home. Apparently, I need a controlled environment.

Your comments--priceless!
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Forget Me Not

I used to have a great memory. Lately, however, things have been slipping through the cracks. I'm forgetting little things (to grab my lunch before I leave in the morning), as well as big things (like a dear friend's birthday) What is that about?

I use a Blackberry and put everything into it without fail. The problem lies in that once it's there, it is both out of sight and out of mind. I've started using the Reminder feature so that my phone nudges me at a set time prior. Even then, I find myself suprised that the event has come up so quickly and am usually ill prepared. At work, I have millions of lists, complete with highlighted items, --lists of things to do today, lists of things I should have done yesterday, lists of things not to forget to put on a list. But again, if something doesn't make it to a list, it might be overlooked.

Is it age that has crept up and made me start forgetting things or is it simply procrastination? Could it be that I'm simply trying to focus on too many things at once? Is it the onset of Alzheimers (gulp)?? Is it just anxiety--perhaps the same anxiety that contributes to my sleeping problems?

What about you? Having bouts of forgetfulness? What do you think it is? Are you using memory aids? Are they working?

Your comments--priceless!
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And the winner is...

My first giveaway!!!! YAY!!!!! It was a blast. The comments are awesome...And the winner is...Amarque! Thanks for playing and look forward to next month's giveway. It could come anytime in the month, so you might want to think about subscribing either in a feed or by email (both links to the right). Thanks again!

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Slumber Party
I haven't been sleeping well--some nights I sleep too little, followed by a stretch of sleeping too much. It's being caused by a mixture of stress, anxiety, fear, and excitement. I have so much going on in my life right now.

I don't seem to have a problem falling asleep, my problem lies in staying asleep. I've cut way back on caffeine products and have even stopped watching television in bed. So far, I've stopped short of sleep aids, which I understand are highly addictive. I may, however, try something more holistic, like acupuncture or aromatherapy.

A recent poll found that more than 70% of adults experience a sleep problem at least a few nights a week. Unfortunately, not sleeping well will start to affect every area of your life--your work, your health, your overall attitude, etc. The human body can not function properly without proper rest. This is really becoming a problem for me. My body is starting to shut down during the middle of my work day, because I've been up 12 or 15 hours already.

Are you in that 70 percent who also has sleep problems? Is your problem falling asleep or staying asleep? How do you combat it?

Also--today is the last day for entry into the drawing for this month's giveaway--the $25 Macy's card. All you have to do is leave a comment on any post since last Saturday. The winner will be announced in tomorrow's post. At this point, there are less than 10 people entered--your chances are good!

Your comments--priceless!
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Land of Confusion
Do you ever feel confused? Like nothing is how it's supposed to be? Like you somehow got off the right track and now all the tracks are scrambled and it's hard to tell which is the right one now? Clearly, I'm on the wrong track. Clearly, I got derailed somehow. I know where I am and I know where I want to be--it just seems that I'm on the incorrect course.. or something.

Or..perhaps I'm on the right track but there are forces that don't want me on the right track. It's better for them that I'm in a state of turmoil. It delights them that I seem disoriented. They would much rather see me adrift. Well, in the words of my dear 12 year old son--TOO BAD..SO SAD!!! I'm proceeding directly and purposely towards my goals. I have proclaimed 2009 as MY YEAR. And I won't be stopped!

Your comments--priceless!
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Wednesday's Wisdom: Get Involved!

The hoopla is over. The deed has been done. Now it's time for us to take heed and get to work. If you are not already, NOW is the time to get involved in your communities and to hold our elected officials accountable for their actions. Here's how--

1. Figure out what you stand for. Define your values. You can NOT get involved if you don't know who you are!

2. Find things that you are interested in--schools/education, pets/animals, eldercare, crime, affordable healthcare, etc. If you are new to dabbling in activism, choose only one thing and learn all you can about it, at your local level. Know who the players are on both sides of the issues.

3. Locate an organization that both shares your values and your interests. If you are interested in education, then perhaps that might be your local PTA. Check out their website, see where they stand on the issues. Are their views inline with your own? If so, go to a meeting. Volunteer for something. It doesn't have to be a huge role--put stamps on envelopes, or hand out flyers. Commit your time and/or your money. Again, it doesn't have to be much--$20 a month is more than 200 dollars a year. That's significant for a small organization. If you can not find an organization whose agenda you agree with, start your own! Find like minds and have at it! It's easier than you think.

3. Seek out your local elected officials. Call your councilman, alderman, or neighborhood representative's office. Tell them you are a constituent and you want to meet with them. Go to their office. Ask where they stand on the issues. Tell them where you stand and why. BE RESPECTFUL. Engage them in meaningful dialogue. Ask what the most pressing problem in your community is and how you can help with it. NOTE: You do NOT have to be in agreement with your elected officials, but remember that they work for YOU. Let them know that you will be holding them to task for their decisions. Trust me, there is something to be said for being on first name basis with an elected official.

4. Repeat step 3 at the city level.

5. Repeat step 3 at the state level.

We can no longer sit back and let others make the decisions that affect our lives. If the decision goes against us, let it not be for lack of effort on our parts. Obama won a historic election in a country where 5 years ago, nobody even knew his name outside of Chicago. It can be done--YES WE CAN!

Your comments--priceless!
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No More Excuses
Wow, what a day! What a day! I'm thrilled at the possibilities that today's events will bring. But, as always, I'm concerned. I'm concerned that some people have unreasonable expectations. After all, he's still a man, right? He's still mortal, right? He still puts his trousers on one leg at a time, right?

I'm concerned that some folks think that 1 minute after noon today, their lives will change drastically. I'm concerned that when they find out they are expected at work on Wednesday, at the regular time, doing the same work for the same rate of pay, they will be disappointed in the new President. I'm concerned that when they find out that they will still have to pay their bills, as usual, they will become discouraged. He will disappoint us, he will do things we don't agree with. In some ways, he will fail us, but I don't think it will be intentionally. I just think it might be a bit difficult to please every single American every single day. What's good for me might not be good for you.

He's done very well in repeatedly saying that we have a long, tough road ahead of us, but I don't think everyone hears him. We STILL have responsibilities--to ourselves, our families, our communities, and our country. Do not put the weight of the world on this man's shoulders. He uses the word "We" a lot. Who do you think he's talking about? He means US! We have to do our part. No more excuses.

Did you happen to catch Earl Graves, Sr on CNN yesterday? He spoke about there being no more excuses. It was reminiscent of Bill Cosby's controversial "Pound Cake" speech. Mr Graves called out, among others, Black professionals who assert racism while doing mediocre work. He also spoke on young Black men who have been allowed to "embrace the sin of low expectation" It was all I could do to stay seated and not kiss my television screen.

Let's work with the new President. Let's help him with change. And most of all, let's not criticize his efforts. Let's trust that he's doing what's right for us. And let's get involved.

Tuesday's Tips will be Wednesday's Wisdom (just for this week). And in case you didn't guess, it's all about GETTING INVOLVED.

Your comments--priceless!
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MLK Day: Keeping the Dream Alive

One morning in 1968, I woke up to find my mother crying. She was standing in front of the television. She turned to me and simply said, "They killed Martin Luther King." I'll never forget those words, even though I had no idea who "they"were or even who Martin Luther King was. I was 4 years old. I just remember how sad she was, so I cried too.

This is my earliest memory of MLK. It would be years before I discovered his contributions to the world. While his name is synonymous with "race relations," I think his greatest wish was simply for "peace."

You would be hard pressed to find anyone who would publicly say, "I don't agree with MLK or his thoughts." Everyone is on board with MLK and his teachings. Except. Except?

Except it's been less than 10 years that all 50 states have celebrated a federal holiday in his honor, even though the bill was signed in 1983.

Except the planned Martin Luther King Memorial on the Mall, near the Lincoln Memorial and the Jefferson Memorial, keeps running into obstacles.

Except the King Center in Atlanta has fallen into a state of disarray and disrepair.

Except every Martin Luther King Street, Avenue, or Boulevard that I've ever been on in any city in America, looks war-torn.

Is this how we honor someone who made great strides worldwide? Is this how we hold someone in high public esteem? Something just doesn't seem right...

Your comments--priceless!

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Be Careful--Don't Get Burnt By a Lemon!!

Ever heard the old saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade"? What exactly does that mean? I think that they were trying to say "take life as it comes" or "do the best you can with what you have," but how often does the life lemon come looking exactly like a lemon?

More often than not, my life lemons have come looking like an opportunity to make extra money or a "great deal" on something. How come my life lemons never seem to look like a lemon until I try to take a bite out of it? Only then do my jaws get tight. Why are my lemons being disguised as hundred dollar bills? Why can't they just be round and yellow and have the little LEMON sticker on them?

Well, I'm beginning to think they looked like lemons all the time, but my mind's eye refused to recognize them as such. I was so blinded by what I wanted from the circumstance, that I simply refused to identify it as being something harmful. But of course, hindsight is 20/20 and looking back in my life's rearview mirror, I should have recognized each situation as the lemon that it was. In some cases, while I didn't see the lemon right off, I did get a whiff of a lemony scent, and even then, I demanded that my mind put that thought away immediately. In those cases, I ended up getting burnt, with no one to blame but myself.

How have you dealt with life's lemons? Do you always see them coming from miles away? Or are you like me and have to actually be burnt before you back away?

Your comments--priceless!!
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My Husband IS the Boss of Me!

You know how everybody's sitting around and an innocent side comment starts meaningful (and sometimes heated) dialogue? Then you find out that your opinion on the subject differs from most folks in the room. Has that ever happened to you?

Well for me, the topic where my opinion is nearly guaranteed to differ is marriage. Now before you start throwing canned tomatoes at me, please remember this is MY blog and I can write whatever I want. Refer to the paragraph above, in the dark pink box.

Anyhow, I know exactly what to say to start the eyes rolling and the necks swiveling. All i have to say is--"MY HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF MY HOUSE". Those 8 words can set it off! Some women say to me, "You mean to tell me that he is the boss of you? Girlllllllllllll, I wouldn't EVER let a man run me. You must be crazy."

Now this is not to say that it's a dictatorship, but there simply can't be two bosses. There has to be someplace where the buck stops. And in my home, it stops with him. Again, I don't wish to imply that I don't have a voice. Anyone who knows me knows that I speak loud and clear. There is discussion of pros and cons, and sometimes we don't agree. A decision needs to be made and that decision rests with him. I completely trust that he will do what he thinks is best for the family. And sometimes, it's the wrong decision. In that case, we just back up and go another route.

And ya know what? I don't mind one bit. I've been the decision maker, the bread winner, the disciplinarian, etc. and it wasn't fun. I've relinquished all those roles to him and I can focus on other things. I don't miss them. I don't know how it works in your home, but this works wonderfully in ours.

Your comments--priceless!


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January Giveaway!
The Queen, also known as ME, has declareth that every month, there shall be a giveaway. This month's giveaway is a $25 dollar Macy's card.

The rule is simple--You must leave a comment on any post between tomorrow and next Friday. The comment must be published. Please do not TRY me, by leaving one character or one word or gobbledygook, etc. It must be a relevant, meaningful comment. If your comment is not published, you will not get a entry for that day.

Everyone that leaves a comment will be entered into a drawing. You may enter once per day. The winner will be announced on next Saturday's post. Of course, anonymous postings will not be considered. If you are outside of my circle, using a name that I don't recognize, please send me an email advising what name you are leaving comments under, along with a valid email address for you. If your name is chosen and I don't have any way of contacting you, I will deem you unworthy and move on.

Good luck!!!
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Dear Washington, DC: The World is Watching!

I'm a native Washingtonian. DC is my hometown-born and raised. I love that city. From Anacostia to Friendship Heights. From Georgetown to Barry Farms. I embrace it. From Ben's Chili Bowl to Citronelle. From H.D. Woodson to Sidwell Friends. From Fort Totten to Deanwood. From the Tidal Basin to the Frederick Douglas House. From the Carter Barron to Fort Dupont Park.

It's where I was born (Walter Reed). It's where I went to kindergarten(Rudolph Elementary). It's where I went to high school(Coolidge High School). It's where I saw my first play(Pearlie at the National Theatre). It's where I had my first kiss (Haines Point). It's where I had my first job (McDonald's Mazza Gallerie). I LOVE THIS TOWN! I loved it through the riots in the 60s. I loved it through the sorrow of 9/11. I loved it through the terror of the Snipers. My love is unconditional.

But I'm also afraid. I'm afraid that when the cameras start rolling, we'll show off in front of company. That we won't be on our best behavior. That we will embarass ourselves. And that would be tragic. That would take the spotlight off of the historic events.

Let's not conduct ourselves inappropriately. Let's be hospitable to our guests. Let's show them why we are the most powerful city in the world. Let's put on our Big Girl/Boy underwear and sit at the Big People's table. It's never been more important...


Your comments--priceless!
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How Will You Be Remembered?

Recently I saw the movie, Seven Pounds. It's one of those flicks that you either absolutely love or absolutely hate. Most reviewers hated it, though most regular people that I have talked to loved it. What is THAT about?

At one point in the movie, a man questions why another man is doing such a tremendous deed for him. The deed giver replies, "because you are a good man, even when nobody is watching." That line has stuck with me ever since. I keep asking myself, "Is that me? Am I good when nobody is watching?"

That started me thinking about other things, like--When I'm gone, what do I want people to remember about me? What will be my legacy? Granny used to say that she wanted folks to say, "She did what she could." That's pretty simple, but it sure is a mouthful. Am I doing what I can? Is it enough? Should I be doing more? If the answer is yes, why aren't I?

I've claimed this as my year of change. Unfortunately, change can never come without critical examination. It's January 14th, time for self examination. I'm looking at every aspect of my life. There will be changes made and sometimes the changes won't make sense to those who are watching. Just know that I'm working on some things.

Have you ever given thought to what your legacy is? What will you leave here when you've moved on? If you left today, would you be happy with what you've accomplished? Is there more work to do? Let's get busy, folks...

Your comments--priceless!



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Tuesday Tips: Taking Better Camera Phone Shots


1. Take lots of pictures to increase your chances of getting just the right shot.

2. Move in close. Stand about 1-2 feet from your subject.

3. Shoot at the subject's eye level. For pets and small children, this may require stooping.

4. Watch the light. In sunlight, move around so that the sun beams on the subject. Inside, turn on extra lights.

5. Use a plain background. Make sure there aren't trees growing from your subject's head or cars dangling from their ears.

6. Try different angles.

7. Discover your phone's capabilities. You may have picture messaging or the ability to use a favorite picture as your phone's wallpaper.

8. Stay still. Jittery hands cause blurring.

9. Set the resolution to HIGH. The quality difference may not be apparent on your phone's display screen, but you'll see it on your computer screen.

10. Be courteous and legal. Ask permission before taking pictures of people. Places like airplanes, courthouses, concert venues, and military bases don't allow cameras or phones. Abide by their rules.
--from Kodak's website
Your comments--priceless!!
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American Idol Auditions: Are They Funny?

The new season of American Idol starts this week. I understand that they have made some changes, including adding a new judge. But I have a complaint--Why do they begin each season with the most awful auditions that they can find? Is it comedy? I think it's just plain WRONG! It's public humiliation at it's worse.

They go before the judges and seem to think that they really have a shot at stardom. Now some might say that the contestants aren't forced to do it, and that is true. But does it make it less wrong to prey on them for the sake of advertising and ratings? It's apparent even before most of them start to sing, that they have some internal issues. I always think, "Wow, somebody in this person's life should have sat them down and told them that singing wasn't their thing." Was there no one? NO ONE? Once the judges have berated and belittled them, they come outside where Ryan interviews them. But it's not over yet--the cameras usually follow them outside, further documenting their disgrace. The whole thing turns my stomach.

What about you? Do you watch those auditions? Do you find them humorous? What's your take?

Your comments--priceless!
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