Today is my anniversary. And while thinking about it this morning, I came up with what I will call "The Essential Core of Relationships." It doesn't necessarily mean marriage, but rather any relationship--friends, employers/employees, co-workers, neighbors, teacher/student, etc. For me, the essential core of ANY relationship is respect. We have to respect the wishes of others, the beliefs of others, the morals and standards of others. We have to respect their opionions, their choices, and their actions. Without mutual respect, there is NO relationship. Do you agree? If not, tell me what the essential core is...Your comments--priceless!!
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I come to my readers, yet again, for enlightenment. Yesterday, during a very casual conversation, it was revealed to me that many middle aged folks are getting married for the sole purpose of sex. I didn't believe it then and I most certainly don't believe it now. I even said, "Anybody over the age of 50 that is getting married based SOLELY on sex is dumb." And I got clobbered. Is it true? Do I need to clean the lens of my rose colored glasses? Is this really happening?
Now before you all give me the definition of the word "Cougar" and tell me about the new show on television, that is NOT what I'm talking about. I'm NOT speaking on older folks who date younger folks. That is NOT what I want help with. I am talking about marrying someone for NO OTHER reason than sex. NOT love, NOT commitment, NOT financial security, NOT anything except SEX.
If this is true, I will be majorly disappointed in my peers. Perhaps I give them more credit than they deserve. I just find it strange that teens are having sex without marriage and their parents are getting married FOR sex. Is there something that I'm missing here?
Your comments--priceless!!
I post daily. So that you don't miss any of my randomness, you might want to subscribe by email.
Can you imagine scratching off a lottery ticket and finding that you have won a half million dollars? Can you imagine? Of course, you wouldn't believe it, so you would ask the lottery clerk to check it for you, wouldn't you? That's what happened to a poor 69 year old retiree from Wellington, Florida last Wednesday.
The clerk ran it through her machine and confirmed that he was a winner and gave him the address for the local Palm Beach office of the Florida State Lottery Board to cash the ticket. He put it in his pocket for safekeeping.
That's where it all started going wrong. He got lost on his way to the Lottery office. He stopped at a convenience store to get directions. He finally found the office. But when he got there, the ticket was no longer in his pocket. He can't find it. He backtracked, but it was fruitless. It is gone. Did I mention that he didn't sign it, so anyone that finds it can cash it, legally?
Wow, is that not the saddest story ever? He thought his prayers had been answered. You see, he's in danger of losing his home. His wife has been ill for years, and that has drained their savings. They live on Social Security.
You know--as broke as I am, I would like to think that if I found it, I would return the ticket to the old guy. He's hoping the same...
Your comments--priceless!!
Please let me introduce Shelby M Hill, a professional relationship coach and also an FOJ (Friend of Jewel). He coaches women regarding dating, relationship and social barriers. Interesting work, huh?
After watching women in his life experience unfulfilled, volatile, and dysfunctional relationships, he decided that he wanted to educate women about men--in addition to educating them on loving and working on themselves, rather than expecting a man to do it for them. He's challenged with making his clients understand that by investing in themselves, they can change the outcome of their personal situations.
One of the things that I love about Shelby is his unconditional and unabashed adoration for his wife, British. His blog, called My Life With My Wife, is a glimpse inside their relationship and never fails to make me smile. His honest accounts of those little "situations" that all marriages experience have given me great insight into the "husband's" point of view. He calls British his best friend, business partner, lover and confidante. When he even thinks of her, he beams--and I find it quite refreshing!
Shelby has extended an invitation to my readers to friend him on Facebook (Shelby M Hill), follow him on Twitter(@shelbymhill), comment on his blog, and visit his website. He also offers complimentary coaching sessions. Contact him via email at shelby@shelbymhill.com for more information.
I asked Shelby about his plans for the future and I wasn't surprised to find that they include writing books, hosting teleseminars and speaking engagements. And of course, British.
Your comments--priceless!!
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Archie, who has always been afraid of commitment, finally got off the pot and proposed to one of his two girlfriends. Who did he choose?
Was it homechick Betty Cooper? Betty is the wholesome, girl next door type. Her competition is the rich vixen, Veronica Lodge. Since 1941, Archie has been unable to choose and the love triangle has played out.
Archie, perhaps persuaded by our dwindling economy, chose to marry Veronica. Though I certainly hope for a long, happy marriage for them, I can't help but wonder how long it will be before Veronica realizes that it wasn't her but her money that swayed him. And what of poor Betty--will she end up with Jughead??
Your comments--priceless!
I overheard a group of women lamenting about how hard it seems to be to find a mate. They didn't have trouble meeting men, but the relationships never progressed. They were looking for romance and feared it was dead.
I disagree. I don't think romance is dead. It may be comatose, but certainly not dead. I just think that in this day and time, folks want everything too fast. We seem to go from first meeting to cohabitating in one fell swoop. Whatever happened to what my granny used to call "courting?"
Let's slow it down. Let's get to know each other. And most importantly, let's not assume that every relationship should end in love and marriage. Just because he isn't what you are looking for in husband, doesn't mean that he should be disgarded as a friend. I've always believed that people come into your life for many reasons. He/She may have come into your life, not as a potential mate, but to introduce you to his/her sibling, who IS a potential mate. He may be your new BFF, and not a romantic interest at all. Or he/she may have come into your life as a catalyst to learn a life lesson. Keep your mind open to all possibilities and let it flow nicely.
Your comments--priceless!
You know how everybody's sitting around and an innocent side comment starts meaningful (and sometimes heated) dialogue? Then you find out that your opinion on the subject differs from most folks in the room. Has that ever happened to you?
Well for me, the topic where my opinion is nearly guaranteed to differ is marriage. Now before you start throwing canned tomatoes at me, please remember this is MY blog and I can write whatever I want. Refer to the paragraph above, in the dark pink box.
Anyhow, I know exactly what to say to start the eyes rolling and the necks swiveling. All i have to say is--"MY HUSBAND IS THE HEAD OF MY HOUSE". Those 8 words can set it off! Some women say to me, "You mean to tell me that he is the boss of you? Girlllllllllllll, I wouldn't EVER let a man run me. You must be crazy."
Now this is not to say that it's a dictatorship, but there simply can't be two bosses. There has to be someplace where the buck stops. And in my home, it stops with him. Again, I don't wish to imply that I don't have a voice. Anyone who knows me knows that I speak loud and clear. There is discussion of pros and cons, and sometimes we don't agree. A decision needs to be made and that decision rests with him. I completely trust that he will do what he thinks is best for the family. And sometimes, it's the wrong decision. In that case, we just back up and go another route.
And ya know what? I don't mind one bit. I've been the decision maker, the bread winner, the disciplinarian, etc. and it wasn't fun. I've relinquished all those roles to him and I can focus on other things. I don't miss them. I don't know how it works in your home, but this works wonderfully in ours.
Your comments--priceless!
Today is my anniversary. And while thinking about it this morning, I came up with what I will call "The Essential Core of Relationships." 
