Ok--Here's the question--Who pays for a date? Should the male always pay, no matter what? Should the female offer? What's your take? I'll tell you how I feel.

I think the person who asked should pay. If a woman calls a guy and invites him out to dinner, she should pay for the meal. If he calls her, he should pay for it. But, if I was dating someone regularly, I would have no problem in offering to pay occasionally--I think it's the right thing to do.

Of course, there are those guys that wouldn't let a woman pay, regardless. Those are the guys that are giving Chivalry mouth to mouth. If the guy insisted on paying, I would let him. However, if I asked him out, I would be prepared to pay for the activity.

How do you feel? If you are a woman, would you EVER pay for date? Ever? If yes, under what circumstances? If no, why not?

Your comments--priceless!

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8 Responses
  1. Lynn Says:

    I believe the man should pay for the first date, then if the dating continues, it should be shared. He pays one time and I pay the next. If he refuses to let me pay for any of the dates, then I will find something I know he likes (whether it be a home cooked meal, a tie, a CD/DVD, etc.) and present him with a gift, from time to time. Never should one or the other be "expected" to pay each and every time.


  2. catladysd Says:

    I think the first few dates it is fine if he pays, however, if it is obvious that you are entering into a relationship of some sort i think it should be give and take. And for the man who wants to do it all, yes, definitely, do something special to repay his kindness. It shouldn't be a burden financially to date. I have no problem doing a picnic, a walk on the river, an outdoor free concert! I mean give the guy a break!


  3. Oh boy, do I have thoughts on this! Recently the victim of a non-payer, I was totally turned off but forced to question if I was being presumptuous... and greedy. In the end, I decided to stick chivalry - it works. I wrote about the whole sitch at my blog:
    http://www.hotpieceofsass.com/2009/06/dutch-boys.html

    But I do agree with you. If I invite, I'll pay... but otherwise I want it to be up to me to offer to chip in. When I'm dating someone, I usually cook them dinner often enough that I'm spending plenty on our "dates".
    Great blog!


  4. I love it when a guy pulls out his card without any hesitation what so ever. However, I wouldn't care to pay or even go dutch. I don't mind paying at all actually lol.


  5. lifeisfantastic embrace it Says:

    This is not a hard question -

    A man should pay if he asks a woman out.

    A woman should pay if she invites a man out.

    And I agree that dating should not be a financial burden.

    Sometimes eating at each others home,having a picnic or going out to a concert or just a walk on the beach will do.

    And Ladies/Gents beware of sometone that is flashing credit cards evreytime you go out for entertainment - they may not be financially smart.


  6. Ugmolicious Says:

    I figured that I should weigh in on this topic (from a man's point of view) and perhaps, raise some questions that I've often wondered about this particular topic of "Who Pays For The Date"?

    I certainly don't want to sound misogynistic...but in what rule book does it state that the Man has to pay for the first date? I have always been plagued by this question....especially in today's society, where Women can often ask a Man to dinner first and where Women oftentimes make more money than the Man they are asking out.

    As a Man with good credit, a property/land owner, gainfully self-employed, responsible, and fair.....I have no qualms with taking my Lady out and paying for everything (as I've done on many occasions). However, I am not adverse to the idea of a Woman pitching in to contribute toward the date or at the least to pay the tip to the waiter/waitress/concierge.
    And, I must admit that I am blessed to have that type of Woman in my life who is both fair and considerate.

    Sharing, is the first and most important benefit that I value in a relationship. Not every day is going to be "bonus" day for me and experience has shown me that will often be the case for her as well.

    This image of two people sitting at the dinner table, or standing at the ticket counter (or wherever money is required) waiting to see who is going to pull cash out of their wallet, purse, or shoe first is extremely distasteful to me. The notion that any one person has to "always" be the first to pay leaves me suspicious about either party involved.

    Is a person that selfish that they would never "treat" the individual that they are involved or out with?

    If so......color me gone!!

    Somehow, the idea of a Woman looking cute while I foot the bill is not appealing to me at all (This is cool the first couple of times that we are on a date, but, I don't want to make this into a social assistance project).

    The "let him pay for everything" scenario has so many pitfalls. A Man is not paying for everything and expecting nothing in return. Let's be real!!
    That, in my opinion is a set-up for pressure that does not need to be included in a date or social outing.

    What happened to the idea of "let's get together and enjoy each other's company?" Is the time gone when two people who are interested in each other can say, "Let me help you with that check?" Even, if the offer is refused, it still feels good to know someone has your back, is concerned about you as an individual, and is not "primarily" concerned about how much you can pay.


  7. Anonymous Says:

    I've always thought whoever asks pays.
    That doesn't always hold true, as I did have a stange date once, where we went to the movies, he bought the tickets and we walked in.
    He then asked if I wanted anything from the concession stand. I said yes and we walked to the line. When we got to the front I ordered a popcorn and soda and turned to see what he was going to order. He said, "no, I don't want anything." And then stood there. So, I got out my wallet to pay.
    I don't mind paying at all, but I guess I just assumed he would be buying because he asked if I wanted anything.


  8. JenellyBean Says:

    I feel like a Diva when my fiance pays for dinner, but the funny thing is the card he uses is the card with OUR money on it. So in essence we are splitting the bill

    Hahaa


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