Well, it's been a month. A whole month of blogging. Who knew that I had so much to say! When I started, I didn't even think that people would be interested in my random musings--but a month later, I've developed a loyal following.

It's been stressful, but also fun. It's been challenging, but also fulfilling. It's been nerve-wracking, but also liberating. In short, I'm having the time of my life. I wish I had discovered blogging years ago.

The most challenging part of it, by far, has been coming up with new topics daily. I've tried not to pigeon hole myself--my blog is not just for women, not just for Black folks, not just for parents, even though I'm all of those things. I've tried to present different aspects of myself, and hope that I've done a good job in this.

Thanks for reading, thanks for commenting, thanks for all the words of praise. I appreciate it!

Your comments--priceless!!

Did you all see "Hot" Rod Blagojevich likening himself to Ghandi, Martin Luther King, and Nelson Mandela? Is he serious?

Ghandi said, "Be the change you want to see in the world." What part of selling a Senate seat is being change??? Seriously, Dude? Seriously?

He's done nearly 20 interviews with the media in the last couple days, rather than attending his own impeachment hearing. He's pleading his case to whoever will hear it. He claims this is all a big misunderstanding. He is the epitome of "not being accountable." But he's not alone. There seems to be an epidemic of elected officials falling off of the morality wagon.

Who is responsible for this? Is it the American people? Are we responsible for this? Have we escalated our lawmakers to celebrity rock star status? So much so that they feel that they are above the law?

Is it their peers? Certainly they know what their colleagues are up to, right? Are they their brother's keeper? Do they have an obligation to police themselves?

Is it the demise of the family structure? Is this what happens when we stop eating dinner together daily? What IS this about? I'm way confused--except I do know this--Hot Rod is NOT Ghandi!!

Your comments--priceless!!

On Friday night, I went over to Circuit City's pseudo sale, and got a great deal on a new laptop. So, yesterday, I decide to hit up my local wifi spot, and blog. This would be my first time blogging away from home.

I read that I could connect to all AT&T hotspots because I have AT&T DSL at home. So I hit up Barnes & Noble's cafe. Well, after about 15 minutes, I gave up on that. It wouldn't accept my login and password. Ok fine!

Those that know me, know that I always have a backup. So I went to Plan B and connected using my trusty friend, Blackberry. My Blackberry Bold can serve as a modem, and be used as the phone at the same time. How cool is that?

Anyway, I didn't like the blogging in public. There was too much commotion going on. The noise from the espresso machines, folks chattering, babies crying. I sit beside a huge wall of windows that looked out onto the parking lot, and even that was distracting. I saw some woman take off her shirt and put on another one in full view of everyone. It was not pretty. My creative juices were stifled. Besides that, their was nothing on the menu that interested me. And for there to be NOTHING on a food menu of interest to me is really saying something.

Nevertheless, there were many folks there studying, and looking very busy on their laptops. Did they just tune the noise out? Did they start off like me and then get used to it? How are they able to concentrate with strangers walking to and fro? I guess it's meant for me to blog from the comfort of my own home. Apparently, I need a controlled environment.

Your comments--priceless!

I haven't been sleeping well--some nights I sleep too little, followed by a stretch of sleeping too much. It's being caused by a mixture of stress, anxiety, fear, and excitement. I have so much going on in my life right now.

I don't seem to have a problem falling asleep, my problem lies in staying asleep. I've cut way back on caffeine products and have even stopped watching television in bed. So far, I've stopped short of sleep aids, which I understand are highly addictive. I may, however, try something more holistic, like acupuncture or aromatherapy.

A recent poll found that more than 70% of adults experience a sleep problem at least a few nights a week. Unfortunately, not sleeping well will start to affect every area of your life--your work, your health, your overall attitude, etc. The human body can not function properly without proper rest. This is really becoming a problem for me. My body is starting to shut down during the middle of my work day, because I've been up 12 or 15 hours already.

Are you in that 70 percent who also has sleep problems? Is your problem falling asleep or staying asleep? How do you combat it?

Also--today is the last day for entry into the drawing for this month's giveaway--the $25 Macy's card. All you have to do is leave a comment on any post since last Saturday. The winner will be announced in tomorrow's post. At this point, there are less than 10 people entered--your chances are good!

Your comments--priceless!

Do you ever feel confused? Like nothing is how it's supposed to be? Like you somehow got off the right track and now all the tracks are scrambled and it's hard to tell which is the right one now? Clearly, I'm on the wrong track. Clearly, I got derailed somehow. I know where I am and I know where I want to be--it just seems that I'm on the incorrect course.. or something.

Or..perhaps I'm on the right track but there are forces that don't want me on the right track. It's better for them that I'm in a state of turmoil. It delights them that I seem disoriented. They would much rather see me adrift. Well, in the words of my dear 12 year old son--TOO BAD..SO SAD!!! I'm proceeding directly and purposely towards my goals. I have proclaimed 2009 as MY YEAR. And I won't be stopped!

Your comments--priceless!

Except it's been less than 10 years that all 50 states have celebrated a federal holiday in his honor, even though the bill was signed in 1983.

Except the planned Martin Luther King Memorial on the Mall, near the Lincoln Memorial and the Jefferson Memorial, keeps running into obstacles.

Except the King Center in Atlanta has fallen into a state of disarray and disrepair.

Except every Martin Luther King Street, Avenue, or Boulevard that I've ever been on in any city in America, looks war-torn.

Is this how we honor someone who made great strides worldwide? Is this how we hold someone in high public esteem? Something just doesn't seem right...

Your comments--priceless!

Ever heard the old saying, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade"? What exactly does that mean? I think that they were trying to say "take life as it comes" or "do the best you can with what you have," but how often does the life lemon come looking exactly like a lemon?

More often than not, my life lemons have come looking like an opportunity to make extra money or a "great deal" on something. How come my life lemons never seem to look like a lemon until I try to take a bite out of it? Only then do my jaws get tight. Why are my lemons being disguised as hundred dollar bills? Why can't they just be round and yellow and have the little LEMON sticker on them?

Well, I'm beginning to think they looked like lemons all the time, but my mind's eye refused to recognize them as such. I was so blinded by what I wanted from the circumstance, that I simply refused to identify it as being something harmful. But of course, hindsight is 20/20 and looking back in my life's rearview mirror, I should have recognized each situation as the lemon that it was. In some cases, while I didn't see the lemon right off, I did get a whiff of a lemony scent, and even then, I demanded that my mind put that thought away immediately. In those cases, I ended up getting burnt, with no one to blame but myself.

How have you dealt with life's lemons? Do you always see them coming from miles away? Or are you like me and have to actually be burnt before you back away?

Your comments--priceless!!

You know how everybody's sitting around and an innocent side comment starts meaningful (and sometimes heated) dialogue? Then you find out that your opinion on the subject differs from most folks in the room. Has that ever happened to you?

The Queen, also known as ME, has declareth that every month, there shall be a giveaway. This month's giveaway is a $25 dollar Macy's card.

The rule is simple--You must leave a comment on any post between tomorrow and next Friday. The comment must be published. Please do not TRY me, by leaving one character or one word or gobbledygook, etc. It must be a relevant, meaningful comment. If your comment is not published, you will not get a entry for that day.

Everyone that leaves a comment will be entered into a drawing. You may enter once per day. The winner will be announced on next Saturday's post. Of course, anonymous postings will not be considered. If you are outside of my circle, using a name that I don't recognize, please send me an email advising what name you are leaving comments under, along with a valid email address for you. If your name is chosen and I don't have any way of contacting you, I will deem you unworthy and move on.

Good luck!!!

This week, I had the pleasure of speaking to a woman that I haven't seen in about 5 years. I was notified through LinkedIn that she had a new job. I fired off an email to her, congratulating her on the new position, and offering her a lead (she's in sales, like me). This email to her inspired about 5 back and forth exchanges between us that day--catching up and sharing information. During the exchange, she said, "Wow Jewel, I see your name EVERYWHERE!"

Now of course my name isn't EVERYWHERE(thinking of the bathroom wall), but I do use 3 of the social networking sites regularly. Most folks pick one but I've found that I use all 3, for completely different reasons. I'll explain--

LinkedIn is used for business purposes, almost exclusively. This is where I stay on top of new trends, and get ideas for strategy. I also get job announcements from connections that I send off to those that I think are interested. I use the Groups feature to network with like minds. I belong to many groups--from Christian Professionals to Florida Marlins Fans--and get a digest everyday from each. It usually takes me about a half hour a day to go through the digests, make comments, etc. But, the BEST benefit of LinkedIn, for me, is mining for prospects. I search target companies and get names of people, along with job titles. This is invaluable to a salesperson. A bonus is that I'm then able to see who I know that knows them and may be able to get an introduction or a referral.

Facebook is personal. This is where I've connected with long lost FOJ from elementary school, old neighborhoods, even old jobs. These are the folks with whom I share what I had for breakfast and when I have insomnia. It is a much more personal group. It's where you trade pictures of family and parties, and you engage in things like snowball fights and scavenger hunts.

Twitter is a communications forum where you have to speak in "tweets" of 140 characters or less. It moves quickly and you get information in real time. For instance, I wasn't lucky enough to go to CES this past week, but I got constant tweets about it and was always up to date on which companies launched what exciting new gadget. It also affords me one on one conversations with people that I never would have met otherwise. In the past few weeks, I've had a conversation with MC Hammer about the Oakland riots, with the CEO of Zappos about his new obsession with baked potatoes filled with macaroni and cheese, and CNN's Don Lemon about the economy. This simply couldn't have happened on LinkedIn or Facebook.

So, you see, I use them all. I have different audiences and targets on each, and show totally different sides of me. That's not to say that some contacts don't overlap, but somehow the worlds don't really intersect. Which social networking sites do you use and why?

Your comments--priceless!

I've never met a stranger. Chatting and small talk come quite easily to me. I'm comfortable in most social situations. Because of this, I meet a lot of people. I probably meet more people during the course of a day than most meet in a week.

Are these people "friends?" Uhhhh, absolutely not! They are folks that I met. When do they become friends? Is it automatic upon meeting the second time? If we've shared a meal or a taxi? Does that make you my "friend?" Because you know some other people that i know (and they aren't friends either)? Because I run into you regularly? Because I "friended" you on Facebook? Because I've known you for years? Because we share a common enemy?

I take FOJ very seriously. You are either FOJ or you're not-there's no middle ground. Rarely do I have new friends, though I do have new acquaintances. Friendship is formed over time. There's a respect that comes with true friendship. There's the desire to want what's best for the other person. There's affection. There may even be some rifts, but when you hit a rift with a true friend, mutual integrity is still intact. There's an old saying that friends walk in when everyone else walks out.

Recently, I saw the devastating fallout of a woman discovering that someone she considered a friend really was not. The other person never considered her a friend, but merely an associate. So when she got clowned, there were severely hurt feelings.

BE VERY CAREFUL who you give the "friend" badge to. Don't throw out the term so loosely. Be mindful of who you let into your inner circle. True friends bring value to your life--if the person isn't bringing anything valuable to you, they probably are not a friend.

Your comments--priceless!

A few years back, my family started taking annual vacations that include multiple generations. I never, ever would have thought that it could have worked (you've got to know my family), but it actually does. Of course, it takes lots of planning and lots of flexibility. Even then, there's always a ridiculous argument--generally during the first 24 hours, followed by a wonderful time!

We generally plan many months in advance--who's going, who's not going, who wants to go but showed off last year so they are blacklisted, etc. The hardest part of the planning is determining dates that work for everyone. Once you have the WHO and the WHEN...the rest generally falls into place. Since I live in South Florida, the WHERE is a given.

Of course, we've learned quite a few lessons along the way--like the older folks don't really appreciate venues without elevators, and the younger folks don't seem to care for casinos (you've got to be 21 to enter). Also, you can NOT speak to my Mom or even look in her direction while the plane is in the air. She just sits there white knuckled, staring straight ahead, braced for some imagined collision, any moment. (shrug) And, what may be the most important lesson of all--my Dad will NOT leave his hotel room for ANY reason until EVERY judge show on television has gone off--including Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Wapner(reruns), the Texas Judge, the Divorce Judge, etc. There is no reason to even plan an activity before every single case has been settled. Hmmmm..what is THAT about? Really..WHAT is THAT about???

It's also a challenge to find activities that everyone agrees on. Two that always work are shopping and eating. Shopping can be anything from a cheap souvenir shop to an upscale mall. We used to split up at the mall, until it became apparent that it is in your best interest to stick close to my Dad, whose been known to whip out a credit card at the Coach counter in Macy's and buy purses for every female in the group. Now we fight over whose turn it is to "walk with GrandDad." Same with food--we can go anywhere from fast food to fine dining--just know that my older daughter always orders something she doesnt really want, asks the server for an extra plate, and then insists that everyone around the table share their meal with her and that my younger daughter will be mortified if we all get up on the table to dance, as is the custom in our favorite Greek restaurant.

All in all, even being the dysFUNctional lot that we are, I wouldn't give up these memories for anything in the world. The photo ops alone are worth the drama! What are your family vacations like? Who goes? Who plans? Who needs to watch all the judge shows? Share--

Your comments--priceless!

Do you have Seasonal Affective Disorder(SAD), more commonly known as the "Winter Blues?" The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has recognized this as a subtype of major depression, and says it affects over 10 million Americans who live in northern climates. The symptoms include sadness and depression, often accompanied by excessive sleeping, overeating and weight gain. Women are more likely to have SAD than men. Although you might think it is related to the temperature, experts say it's more likely linked to reduced light caused by winter's shorter days. UV Light therapy has been touted as an effective treatment.

The most interesting thing about SAD is that it can also affect those living in warm climates, like me. For them, winter brings the holidays and anticipated happy times, while summer brings loss of appetite, insomnia, and weight loss.

While I'm definitely not qualified to argue with the APA, I'm not sure if I buy into this. I think that some folks are just depressed, period. Wouldn't matter if it were sunny, cloudy, humid or cold--they are just down. I think it may be more noticeable to others during extreme temperatures, I don't think climate is a factor. I've been known to be wrong though..

What do you think? Do you buy it? Have you suffered from this? Which one-summer or winter? How did you handle it? Share your experience--

Your comments--priceless!

Stress affects all of us. And actually, a certain amount of stress in your life is good. Stress keeps you engaged, focused, and moving forward. But too much stress detracts from productivity and happiness. Here's how you can manage stress--

Know what stresses you and be prepared when it hits.

Say no to things that are not in line with your goals.

Learn to relax. Work hard but know when it's time for other things.

Eat healthy.

Keep a sense of humor and laugh a lot.

Ask yourself WHY? The more you understand why you are doing what you are doing, the less stress you will have about it.

Stay active--exercise.

Follow your bliss. Structure your life around those activities that you love.

Organize and prioritize. Do the worst and hardest tasks first.

Follow these steps and you'll be well on your way to recapturing your peace.

--as adapted from ZeroMillion.com

What do YOU do when you feel yourself stressing? Share your tips--

Your comments--priceless!

I know! I know! New Year's Day was LAST week! I know!

But because New Year's Day was a Thurs, and most folks had Fri off (lucky buzzards!), TODAY is really New Year's Day.

Today is the day that we get back to our daily grind. The next holiday that I have off is Memorial Day on May 25th, so this is actually the longest stretch of work days that I will have this year.

And I have plans-boy, do I have plans! I'm going to put my head down and work. I plan to have my best year ever. I've already talked to God about it, and I think He's in agreement.

November and December were quiet, with everyone in the festive Holiday mood. All of my prospects told me to call them after the first of the year--HELLO????? That means NOW! Not that I'm racing out of the gate--slow and steady wins the race. Have you ever seen riot control police? They have their shields up and all the riot gear on and they stand in formation and take small steps towards the commotion. Over and over again they smallstep together. And they move crowds! With that little smallstep!

So I'm going to take my cue from them and smallstep towards my crowd of prospects. Perseverance and determination will get me over the finish line. What about you? Are you still in Holiday mode or are you joining me in 09?

Your comments--priceless!

Let's face it--we are in a jam. And things will probably get worse before they get better. We all know someone who has lost their job or in danger of losing it. Gone are the days of secure employment. Sooner or later, that pink slip will have your name on it. You know what they say, chances go round.

Now is the time to boost your network. Cast some feelers out, see what your resume is worth in today's market. See how your skills match up with the current pool of jobseekers. But in order to do that, you have to "know folks." Like in that cell phone commercial, where your whole network follows you around.

Take a good look at the folks in your expanded circle. Not just the obvious friends and family, but others who you never think about. How about your neighbors, past colleagues, even fellow book club members? Just because you see her in sweats on Sunday afternoon doesn't mean she isn't a high powered executive during the week. If you collect business cards from everyone you come in contact with for a day, I think you'd be surprised what you would find out if you googled some of those names. They are probably good connections. What you need to do is grow your connection with them past the polite pleasantries stage. Here's how--

BE INTERESTED. I go to many networking events, I NEVER talk shop. In fact, I rarely even talk about me at all. My aim is always to find out about the other person--where they grew up, their family life, anything that I can use later to show that I was truly listening during our conversation. If they mention that they are going to Costa Rica on an upcoming vacation, you can bet that during my next conversation or email with them, I will ask about the trip. Think of others in your network that THEY should know, bringing value to the relationship right from the start, and establishing YOU as someone THEY should keep in contact with. Here's an example--"Wow Danny, it must be fun to manage a South Beach nightclub. I have a client whose bringing a new brand of organic spirits to the US. You guys should probably get together."

APPEAL TO THEIR EGOS. Ask them for help--say something like, "Yanno, things are getting tight at my job and I don't know what the future holds for me there. You are someone that I trust--could i buy you a coffee on Thursday night and have you critique my resume. I'd like to be able to hit the ground running, if the axe should fall." Who wouldn't accept that offer? Heck, I don't even drink coffee and I'd do it. Value EVERY connection, no matter what their job title is--you'd be surprised how much clout a receptionist has.

FOLLOW UP! This is the most important. If you do everything else right, and never follow up, you won't get anywhere. I follow up with folks I have coincidental encounters with (like sitting next to them at a luncheon), as soon as I get back to the office. Since I probably didn't tell them what line of work I'm in, I shoot off a quick email just saying that I was glad to meet them and here's what I do and if I can be of help to them, let me know. I also give them contact info for whoever I promised to introduce them to (after securing that person's permission). I also connect with them on linkedin.com and/or twitter.com. Even after that, I don't forget them. If I run across an article that might be of interest to them, I email it. If more connections come to mind, I send them. My goal is always to be on the "owed" end of the favor seesaw.

Boost your network. In the job market, it's not always what you know, but who you know. Who do you know?

Your comments--priceless!

Your comments--priceless!

I don't know about you, but for quite some time now, I've been marching in place.

Marching in place is frequently confused with progress, because there is movement involved. The movement brings on perspiration and fatigue, fooling us into thinking that we have done something, although we haven't advanced at all.

There are some areas of my life where I have not advanced, and most often, I've pointed the finger at someone else--" If 'he' hadn't done this..If 'she' would have said that..." You know, the old blame game...

Well, it stops today! I AM MOVING FORWARD! And if you are an obstacle in my path, prepare to be trampled...

Your comments--priceless!