Ok, here's a question--When does your obligation to your child end? When are you officially "done" with them? When are you RID of them?
Here's the scenario. Your adult child(which you share with an ex-spouse) has a debilitating illness. She is incapacitated. She can not care for herself. She needs constant care. This illness struck her as an adult, after she had started on a career path in another state. Your ex-spouse moves to that state to care for the child. They manage. Suddenly, that ex-spouse passes away. Your adult child is left with no one to care for her. She can not afford funeral expenses, much less the fabulous home that her other parent has provided for her. While she is surrounded by friends, she really has no family within thousands of miles to help her with funeral arrangements, decisions, finances, etc.
Before you respond, let me tell you how this would work in MY family, as dysfunctional as we are. In my family, if the adult child in the scenario were ME, this is what would happen. After I made the call that my parent had passed away suddenly, my living parent would rally the troops. There would be a convoy of planes, trains, trucks, cars, bicycles, and skateboards coming out of the Washington, DC area (and other places), headed to me. I wouldn't care if I was in the North Pole. I have family members that would set out walking, if there was no other way. Neither of my parents would say, "Look, you are an adult. I have fulfilled my obligation to you. I'm sorry about your mother passing-let me know when the funeral is and I will try to make it. But please understand, my obligation now is to my new wife. I hope everything works out for you."
What the heck?????? Again, I can't imagine either of my parents saying this to me. This is so far fetched in my world, that it may as well be a cartoon. I also have an adult child. I can't imagine turning my back on her. Of course she makes me angry at times, but simply to wash my hands of her and not look back is unthinkable. But after thinking about it, I've decided that perhaps my family is the exception and not the rule. So I ask again, "When does your "obligation" to your child run out?