So today is THE DAY. Not my birthday. Not Pay Day. But THE DAY. The day that I have to call my Dad and start planning the family's summer vacation.
I am so not looking forward to this conversation. If you are a long time reader, you know that this is no small task, talking to my Dad about the vacation. (If you are not a long time reader, please refer to my post of January 8th--you'll get our vacation history there.) I love him dearly. I love him more than life itself. I love him like French Vanilla Slimfast and Paul Newman lemonade. I can talk to him about nearly anything--EXCEPT vacation plans.
After many years of doing this, I've learned not to try to get him to decide too much at a time. So today, the only thing we need to confirm is which weeks he wants to come. Last year, this talk lasted about 2 hours. Based on our recent conversations, I'm blocking off about 4 hours for today's talk. He's hinted that rather than a week or so in South Florida, he wants to do perhaps a weekend in South Florida and then a cruise someplace else. And, we have more family members coming this year.
This is a man who takes 3 days to decide which sneakers to bring. That wouldn't be so bad, except NOTHING else can go into the suitcase until he puts the sneakers in. This is a man who gets to the airport AT LEAST 8 hours before the flight--he doesnt want to miss it. But he's also a man who has worked all of his life to provide for his family. I must say, he afforded me a wonderful childhood and until I was in high school, I thought we were rich! I have never not been able to do something that I wanted to do because there was no money. I have never not had the latest and greatest. And he has a good heart. If you meet him once, and he determines that you like, say Root Beer, you will NEVER come to his home again when there is not Root Beer there and when you walk in, he'll drop a 12 pack on root beer on the table in front of you and point you to the corner where 3 more 12 packs sit.
So, I will try to struggle through this today. Wish me luck!!!
Your comments--priceless!!
I wish you many blessings and much patience.Dealing with family takes much patience. I know...I have a mom with Dementia, and I must deal with her with love and loads of patience. She asks the same question over and over again. My job is to love her and make her time left as comfortable as possible. So...just listen to him make up his mind today and have something else to do while you are on the phone witih him.
I was gently reminded earlier this week about this very topic...being inpatient with a parent. Heaven forbid, your Dad was no longer here. You would look back at those 'wasted' hours as priceless. Whether it's your Dad's hours of indecisiveness or my Mom's stubborness, we just have to love em and accept their ways.
You are a good daughter! And i also envy you a family that is still getting together for family vacations. So make a cup of tea, put your feet up and smile :)
Like blqlvrgrl my mom is suffering from dementia so conversation is difficult, i also just found out that my aunt who has been more than generous with her sons and grandchildren is lucky if she gets one phone cdall a week from them. I have made a commitment to start calling her regularly even though we have not really been close for years.
I'm now an new orphan. I hate it. I can't call Mom or Dad to plan anything; can't get any parental love is more special than water; can't take them out to dinner; can't get upset over something she said I didn't like; can't be tired of caring for her....wish I could be. Wish I could ....wish I could....call.
I sit alone in a small room in the back of a house that was once occupied by my Mother (completing final details of her estate). I hear her voice calling my name. I see the love in her eyes when she looked up from her sick bed and realized that her "son" had paid her a surprise visit on her birthday. I feel ashamed for all the times I lost patience with her during her illness (and yes, even before). I feel abandoned in a world emptied of my Mother's love. There is no second chance to say goodbye and the best times are always now. Cherish them while you can and lend the "old ones" in your life a little more leniency and love. It will never be too much & will always make you proud that you took time to be patient and gave them honor and love when they needed it most.
Jewel, I say no matter how much our parents may drive us up the nearest wall, continue to enjoy them, because once they have gone on to glory, they are gone forever. After that, all we have are memories that we can look back on and laugh! Enjoy the planning and the vacation!