My driveway has a palm tree hanging over it. The tree has a huge trunk and I often see little lizards running around on it and those suckers are fast! Sometimes, I stop and watch them fight, but I am truly afraid of them. Actually, afraid to the nth power.

So yesterday, I had to run an errand with my son. We got in the car and, since it wasn't scorching hot, I skipped the normal air conditioning and rolled down my car window. About a half mile later, I was sitting at a light, waiting to make a left turn, and watching what looked like a heated argument between some senior citizens in a bank parking lot.

My son, using a "dont look now" voice, says, "ummm, Mom, ummm, there's a lizard on your windshield." So I SLOWLY looked over, and there's a huge lizard sitting on my driver's side windshield wiper. I nearly had a coronary.

So here I sit--lizard peering through the windshield right at me, window down, light about to change. For once, gratefully, I didn't disintegrate. And the only reason that I didn't was because I knew that if I took my eyes off of the lizard for even once second, he would scoot right into my car through the open window. And then I knew I would freak out.

I thought about turning the wipers on, but I figured it would either push the lizard toward the window (and then into the car) or it would squish the lizard and i would have a squished lizard on my windshield. Before I could decide what to do, it hopped over to the passenger side wiper and then to the edge of the hood. The light had changed, folks were blowing, and I was petrified. Since it was over on the passenger side, I did push the button to put my window up and felt a bit better because it couldn't gain entry, but I still didn't know what to do. So I just started driving. I could no longer see the lizard, but my son could see it's tail. As I made my left turn, he hopped off my car and I finally took a breath.

That really could have been disastrous. Suppose the lizard had been on the inside rather than the outside? And did it come from that tree? That tree really needs to come down. I wonder how much it would cost.

Your comments--priceless!!
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6 Responses
  1. Katz Scratch Says:

    "Suppose the lizard had been on the inside"....if that had happened, you would have probably written the most hilarious blog episode ever! I can imagine you rolling out of the moving truck yelling to your son to jump. The truck continues to roll into the parking lot toward the fighting seniors who in the midst of yelling seeing this huge truck with a lizard sitting on the hood barreling down on them while you scream from the street "LIZARD!!!"....ok...I'll quit. hahahahaha.....life in Miami. I'm loving it from my deck in DC watching the cherry blossoms bloom. :-)


  2. Sinfully Says:

    Jewel that story reminds me of my encounter with a cicadia on my windsheild serval years ago. One of those giant flying ants landed on my windshield and in a panic, I flew across 3lanes of traffic foolessly trying to jar that creature from my car. When I stopped at the light still upset that thingy was still clinging to my windshield, I was startled by a knock on my car window. Apparently, I had cut off a driver while trying to get rid of my insect hitchhiker. Suddenly that giant flying ant didn't seem so scary...cause I thought for sure I was about to get a big a** case of roadrage. Without saying a word the man lean across my hood, removed the cicadia from my windshield and return to his car. I turned to look around to see exactly where the gentleman was headed to. He returned to a car with a woman sitting in the passenger seat. She gave me a big smile and the thumbs up. I'm glad she shared her Knight in Shining Armour that day!


  3. Marc Lowery Says:

    Classic story.Lizards are crafty little things.You handled that very well!


  4. Laurie Says:

    Rofl Jewel you know I laughed all day from this. I even imagined your facial expressions. Then I thought of the dentist story rofll here I go again. Just one question?????? Did the lizard say """Heyyyy Mamiiiii Buenos Dias"????? ctfuuuu


  5. TwoFishFive Says:

    I take it GEICO isn't your insurer of choice...


  6. Inky Says:

    That was so funny, your reaction was the same as mine would have been. I was feeling the, "I can't take my eyes off of this thing, because it will get in the car"; Just be glad you had your calm, cool son with you and not me. We would have fed off each others lizard fear, jumped out the car and watched the lizard drive down the street.


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